Quick Recap…
Here you go people. This is what I’ve been up to the last couple of months. Nothing spectacular…Just a lot of fun.
There’s a lot of socially retarded drunkenness, little Asian people, white people, family, and my swimming pool.
Question 5/28/2010
Q. What is a Food Coma?
This is my cat Cleo. She's constantly in a food coma.
A. I could submit the scientific reason why you slip into a food induced coma, but I won’t. It’s pretty freaking boring.
My Answer: Your body sets into a drowsy and lethargic state the comes shortly after a heavy meal. For me, I slip into a food coma after a heavy night of drinking and a large consumption of Toxic Hell.
CATS!!!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.’
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said, as we drove away. ‘That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.
But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
The cab driver hit a parked car.
