Quick Recap…
Here you go people. This is what I’ve been up to the last couple of months. Nothing spectacular…Just a lot of fun.
There’s a lot of socially retarded drunkenness, little Asian people, white people, family, and my swimming pool.
Question 2/5/2010
Q. Why does POO float?
It seems a lot of friends are obsessed with creating the perfect poo. One even took the time to make sure his “long brown snake” was nice and coiled before he took the picture and sent it to me via text message. It’s gross and really funny at the same time. Laugh if you must, but I’m sure you’re still wondering why some poo are floaters.
A. It’s the gas that makes the poo float. Increased levels of gas and air make your poo less dense and therefore causing it to float.
There is something about “dropping the kids off at the pool” that makes us all smile.
- Shai
Bathroom Crasher
Dear Bathroom Crasher,
I hate you! You’re a freaking AssHole!!! You should not be allowed to breed. I would put you down if you were a horse.
Because of you: My Place of Solitude has been tainted with your messy FUNK! Don’t you have any respect for you fellow MAN? How hard is it to use the Ass-Gasket (You know – Those wisp-thin, slightly waxy paper toilet seat covers offered in public toilets to protect one’s bodunkadunk from coming in contact with someone else’s funk.) and why did you have to waste so much of the precious Holy Paper?
Later today, some poor soul is going to visit his place of solitude, chant his mantra, and then he won’t have any Holy Paper to cleanse him-self. JERK!
Simple instructions for your feeble minded Bathroom Crashers:
- Look above the throne and you will find the Ass-Gasket
- Gently pull the Ass-Gasket out
- Lay the Ass-Gasket on the seat of the throne
- Turn around
- Pull your pants down
- Gently sit on the Ass-Gasket
- Chant your mantra
- Cleans yourself “TWICE” with the Holy Paper
- Stand up
- Pull your pants up
- Flush your throne and make sure the Ass-Gasket goes with it
OR
- You can hover and spread your cheeks.
It’s not that hard and I hope you learn to respect your fellow Man.
- Shai
